Trail's End Week 7 2021

Don't it always seem to go

That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone

-Joni Mitchell

The older I get the truer this is. Last night Thomas and I watched a beautiful and heartbreaking movie ~ Nomadland. The cinematography was spectacular of our magnificent country highlighting areas we drove through three times this year as we traversed back and forth. Toward the end, the movie is shot along the coastline of Northern California. I turned to Thomas and said "Wow, we left all that beauty". He responded with "I miss California".

There is a reason that most folks do not pick up their lives and move to a completely different part of the world in their later years. So much of life now is looking back and reveling in those exceptional bygone years. Looking forward is for the young; appreciating those completed years is the reward for age. This adjustment is hard yet continues to feel like a choice well made.

Today we are going to drive 45 minutes down the road and experience some of the beauty and history Virginia has to offer. We have a crisp and sunny day that will remain in the mid-thirties all day. Today though, for a change, there will be little wind chill. We are going to Manassas, Virginia, the site of two Civil War battles. Apparently, according to my husband who is slowly becoming a Civil War buff, the major battle in Manassas had two different names depending on whether you were a Northerner or Southerner (they couldn't even agree on what to call the battle!). The Confederacy called it the battle at Manassas; the Union called it Bull Run. Today when we are missing California so much it seems nourishing to arrive somewhere that is awe inspiring in its own right.

Yesterday as I came home from a walk with my toes starting to feel numb with cold, I became one of those people who talks about the weather. At first snow several weeks ago I remarked to my family that I didn't understand what all the fuss was about; it was wonderful and magical to go for a walk in the snow. After I slipped on black ice I went online and bought my first pair of snowboots (that's right, 66 years old and this is my first pair!). We humans, though, are a fickle lot and I am now looking outside at the snow and anticipating the cold day and wondering how to keep my spirits up until Spring arrives. I took all those days when exercise outside was always an option for granted (except now I am remembering those smoky days in August and September). Joni had a wisdom beyond her years ~ it is a continual undertaking to appreciate the moment and remember that it is always fleeting.

Yet here is a bit of good news ~ Thomas had his first vaccine last week and I get mine on Tuesday. Never have I been so happy to be over 65. Hilary asked us what we were going to do after our second vaccine. I marveled about the possibilities, but the first thing that came to mind was that I was just going to feel safer to be in the world. I am going to walk down the aisle (still masked, of course) of the grocery store and pick out my own items without worry. I am going to make an appointment to get my eyes checked, to get my teeth cleaned, to meet my new primary care physician in Virginia. Hilary told us that she is going to pick out a special restaurant to take us to and we are all going to go out to dinner. I'd like to see a movie in a movie theater. And, of course, I am going to use those miles I have been accumulating and go to California. And when I land at SFO I am going to appreciate every moment in the place I called home for the first 66 years.